Arisu's Friends

It's gonna be late this year, but, hey, that just means you won't have to worry about making time in a busy December!

Yes, that's right, it's time for my annual WINTER PARTY! I love you (yes, you!) and, accordingly, want to see you at my annual celebration of cold! Come, crowd into the pool room at my parent's MIND-BLOWINGLY awesome house! Eat, drink, be merry (and hopefully DON'T die :-) ), play games, meet other friends of mine, and just general get down witcho bad selves!

Ya'll can't see it, but I am quite literally bouncing up and down in my seat with my excitement to see you (yes, you!)

A new party feature this year at my party will be an appreciation circle, which we will hold probably at approximately 10:30 or 11. This is an opportunity to speak meaningfully about what we appreciate about each other. I participated in one in October and have become ever-more interested in doing one at my winter party.

As always, though I will provide what I can, but the party will be BYOE (Bring Your Own Everything). By "everything", I mean anything you think will add to the party: food, drink, games, whatever.

If you are worried about staying out late or the consumption of intoxicants, crash space is, as always, available, to allow you to relax and enjoy!

Also like always, I will be providing at least one sideroom (and hopefully, two, as I did in the summer): one for introverts who need some time away from the crush, and one for, ahem, other activities. The rule for that room is as follows: at my parties, all forms of interaction are welcome; however, if you or someone else begins to get worried about its presence in the public sphere, go to the room set aside for such activities.

I'd really prefer to have nothing to post about but that my friend Rachel is staying with me. But no:

http://www.boingboing.net/2009/12/11/dr-peter-watts-canad.html
Story of horrible treatment by US border guards when crossing the Canadian border

It probably says a few things about me that his being an author makes me that much more angry for him.

From AstroBarry:

CANCER (June 21-July 22): As I write this, you are actively in the midst of another critical opportunity to transform the dynamic of a key relationship into something that more closely reflects what you actually feel… as opposed, that is, to behaving in a manner that 'protects' your sensitive heart (ah, sweet crab) but inhibits an experience of true mutual communion through gestures of forced 'considerateness'. In other words, Cancer, pretending (1) it's casual when it's not, (2) you like 'em when you don't, (3) you intend to work on it when you know you'll never trust 'em again or (4) you're fine with one kind of relationship when what you really want is something very different will, more or less, hold you in a state of suspended interpersonal development. And truth be told, the specifics of the other person's present life circumstances are not the issue. Thus, justifying your paralysis with concerns for what's going on with them (and how you might dip and swerve around your needs to accommodate 'em) doesn't cut it with me. What's holding you back, at the root, are your own emotional questions about 'who am I to make demands?'—and require, in order to be healed, a revised self-judgment that leaves you feeling like you deserve to be nurtured as you desire (not like you ought to restrain those desires). Life's too short to wait, in potentially futile hope, for our important relationships to organically evolve of their own accord… as if we'll be lucky enough for such evolutions to make us more, rather than less, contented.

Whew! I am filled with delicious trepidation upon reading this! This and

paradox_puree's recent post about fannihilating fear seem like they're fucking important for me at the moment . . . .

My Facebook status:
Francesca Porto misses having a cat.

Reply from Adam:
How many times do I have to apologize?

Made me laugh aloud at the library. People looked at me funny. I don't care!

Well it's a lonely road that you have chosen
Morning comes and you don't want to know me anymore
And it's a long time since your heart was frozen
Morning comes and you don't want to know me anymore

Chorus:
For a moment your eyes open and you know
All the things I ever wanted you to know
I don't know you, and I don't want to
Till the moment your eyes open and you know

That it's a lonely place that you have run to
Morning comes and you don't want to know me anymore
And it's a lonely end that you will come to
Morning comes and you don't want to know me anymore

(Chorus)

This is the second part of a poem I've posted before, but I recite some of this rather regularly, because it tends to help.
*********

An act of love to turn away
An act of love to move on
An act of love to stay away
An act of love to live on
I give you gifts every day
Myself folded, wrapped and put away.

(as if spoken to Jeff)

So. Today is December 6th. Seven years ago I kissed Jeff for the first time, and about 3.5 years ago we broke up.

When I told Tamara a bit about it, how he decided not to join the Air Force after all, she told me he's apparently in ROTC now. Which triggered a lot of "this is Jeff, why is he in ROTC? What's he thinking? Is he depressed? Or does he want to do something good with himself, like the Army Corps of Engineers? What's going on?" Tamara apologized for telling me, and I told her I'd be ok.

But it did trigger a few big thoughts. I haven't noticed Jeff on campus since the first week of classes. This could be a matter of timing - I have mostly avoided the engineering quad in the mornings - or it could be a matter of how he looks. The ROTC fatigues are very anonymizing. What's more, I've seen a picture of Jeff with a buzz cut before, and he looks ~~butt ugly~~ totally different that way. Hair and clothes make up a huge amount of how I recognize someone.

And when Andy visited he stopped by to visit the ROTC guys. He didn't mention Jeff, so either Jeff wasn't there or Andy didn't notice him either. Or he didn't tell me, but that's not like him.

Anyway. I spent the last few hours tutoring, some of which was just volunteering. It's one way to get my mind off of things.

(That much worse because he plays Superman)

(That much worse cause it's Sesame St.)

An article about the planning of a Maker Faire in Detroit

I like how it looks at the area's economic difficulties as a surmountable challenge, its history as a foundation and the Maker Faire itself as a springboard for possibly improving the region. This, to me, is the best of social justice: where people inspire others to greater things.

I am thankful for:
* Awesome progressive educators caring enough to get back in touch with me a year after I took their class
* The time to prepare for my student teaching
* The spoiling I will get with the SmartBoard in one of my master teacher's classrooms
* A schedule that allows me to get some sleep during my student teaching (I don't have to be on-campus until 3rd period)
* Mike McGee
* Season Naify
* Leaves on my grandmother's driveway, even though she isn't thankful fr them :-)
* Poverty's beneficial effects on my smoking (It's Friday, I had two on Wednesday and none yesterday)

I consciously commit to:
* Going to Mt. Pleasant next week to meet with my master teachers
* Remembering that the public educaion system has something to teach me, even if I hope to dive into alternative edcuation after getting my credential
* Finding time to work on my magickal utopian pedagpgy "white paper"
* Creating Facebook events for Temple a moon from now and the San Jose Slam on the 14th
* Continuing my daily practice momentum

So this video includes a few friends I met at or after Maker Faire! I actually used the letter writing booth to send something to Andy. Really great people, too. (Sophia makes me smile with her whole speech.)

Also, I have no idea how Ben feels so good in that corset of his all day long. Either he has really bendy ribs or a truly powerful diaphragm or both...

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